


I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted

by paralyticpoet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Auror Draco Malfoy, Autistic Harry Potter, BAMF Draco Malfoy, Bisexual Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry, Comfort, Dursley's A+ Parenting, Enemies to Lovers, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gay Harry Potter, Harry is a mediwizard, Human Disaster Harry Potter, I should get better coping mechanisms, Idiots in Love, M/M, Non-Binary Harry Potter, Past Abuse, Sickness, coffee shop AU, emotionally stunted idiots, he/they harry potter, i guess, im an avid bottom harry Stan and I will die on this hill, not a safe place for top harry stans, past non con, so c, there's no sex but I feel like it should be mentioned, they met in a coffee shop, touch starvation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29376756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paralyticpoet/pseuds/paralyticpoet
Summary: 5 times harry realised he loved draco and one time draco didorpart 39084275 of I should get better coping mechanisms than writing death scenes and yes the title is a Hozier lyric what about itorI scream into the void and cry by fall out boy (music by p!atd)ori break this into three chapters so i ca write w peace
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 11





	I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this so that I didnt have to study for my history finals, read at your own risk

* * *

1.

_In The Morning_

Draco walked with purpose, he always had. That's what had drawn Harry to sit with him that day but it was not what had drawn him to ask him on a date. That had entirely been because Draco had been amidst ranting about the stupidity of the name that was chai latte when he had sat down with him. Harry could not have agreed more. 

Even now, all these years later, Draco would go on the very same rant every other month although Harry had a sneaking suspicion that now, he only did it for Harry. 

He would kiss him every time, it wouldn’t matter where they were. All that mattered was how much he loved him and his stupid rants and maybe it was selfish. But Harry was allowed selfish things every once in a while.

And then when Harry realised that they were in public and he looked around to see people looking at him with mixed glances, happiness that they were happy, jealousy that he had him, anger that they weren’t in his place and Harry basked in it all. 

He would let it consume him, it was few of the moments where he did not absolutely despise being in the public eye. 

When he wasn’t alone in it

So he would take Draco with him, wherever he went, as he was hoping that he never had to leave that mixed peace-happiness bubble being with Draco gave him.

So when Draco clutched him to go to sleep at night, Harry would be gratified not only because it was such a comforting feeling but also because it made him feel even if just for a while that maybe Draco needed him as much as he did and the moment would end and he would go to sleep.

And he would wake.

Harry adored mornings but Draco hated nothing more than that so every morning Harry would turn to the window near sunrise and look at the tiny slit of curtains that he would open at night because Draco had once again shut them close. They never spoke about it, there never was much need to. It was almost a game now.

So when he turned to look at the window to see that little flare of light that always felt warmer than mid noon to him, he had not expected that upon turning Draco would clutch him hard by the waist. Harry craned his neck backward expecting Draco to be awake with a playful smile but when he realised that Draco was still asleep. 

It was Harry who grinned, an entire all consuming all teeth smile. It was an odd feeling that bubbled in his stomach, a happy giddiness. It was the fact that Draco knew Harry so well that even subconsciously he reached out to him and then immediately the accompanying feeling that comes along with happiness. The dread of what would happen if he didn’t have this. 

This hand that reached out to him asleep, who knew him so well so to do that and Harry realised, that he was still grinning and he realised he loved Draco.

* * *

2.

_In The Afternoon_

It was fewer of Harry’s terrible days and that’s how the day had started. It had started with Harry regretting getting a house in a muggle neighbourhood because that meant there was construction done and construction meant there would be sounds and if there was one thing Harry truly hated it was waking up to sounds that loud. 

  
  


He had immediately burrowed his head into Draco’s chest and then he had to take it back immediately because his eczema decided to flare up and it was terrible. 

  
  


Then when he had decided to call in sick for work, he found out his supervisor was also on a leave and there were only two other personnel working on his floor making him feel even guiltier about his tiny eczema flare up being the reason they would have to work harder. 

  
  


So he had decided that he would not move from the bed that day, he didn’t wanna make it any worse and he truly believed, a closed fist,clenched teeth belief that ignoring his problems will make them go away

So instead Harry kissed Draco across a hundred separating years. He kissed him hard until his hand brushed against corduroy pants. 

  
  


And that was the last straw, most days he would have been fine with it but some days were just meant to be bad. 

  
  


Harry meant that, it was the only way that he could keep himself sane through all the tragedies and all the pain. 

  
  


Some days just weren’t meant to be good days and he was fine with that, mostly.

So when things started going down hill, he didn’t notice immediately and Draco only noticed when Harry started chewing his fingers. 

And he jumped into action immediately, 

Draco got him noise cancelling earphones from the bedside drawer before gently sitting him up and he walked quickly to the mini foldable table near their door. 

He quickly laid it out in front of Harry before gently taking Harry’s fingers from his mouth and handing him a chew toy that he had grabbed from the cabinet. 

After seeing that Harry was still shaking, he went ahead and grabbed the sun glasses from the cupboard and put a weighted blanket around him.

He quietly put a stack of papers in front of him so that he could focus on one thing alone.

Then Draco sat down next to him and waited, he always waited patiently until Harry was able to calm down. 

And then Harry felt the guilt that he always did and immediately turned to apologise to Draco for his episode. 

But Draco knew and he asked Harry pleadingly not to say it so Harry didn’t and then Harry let Draco hold him and murmur reassuring things into his hair until he was assured that Harry realised that it wasn't his fault. 

And Harry did, Harry realised that it was not his fault and had not been and Harry realised he loved Draco.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> see u in hell losers
> 
> but pls comment for my validation kink


End file.
